Couldn't We Just Kill 'Em and Tell God They Died?

Seriously, folks. No, I'm not really conspiring to commit murder, but there are certain people in life who always have the wrong thing to say. They strain out a gnat and swallow a camel. For some reason my Christianity sneaks out with the garbage and I want to start a good ole American catfight, claws and all.

Seriously. The funny thing is, and I don't mean ha-ha funny, is that seven churches in our area just completed a series of seven nightly meetings as an outreach and to bring more unity among churches. We had wonderful, uplifting services and heard some excellent preaching that definitely made me reconsider some of my lines of thinking. Such as being cynical in one breath and asking God's spirit to move among us in the next moment. Ha. So why do I want to slug this person, put laxative in their coffee, shave their pet, etc., etc.?

I plead the fifth on the situation, since blogworld is actually a small place and someone who knows me may read this and wonder who I'm talking about. I won't even get into the scenario and this person's snide, asinine, inane, inept, mealy-mouthed, self-righteous, uninformed, sour grapes comments, especially since I know their real motivation for what they said. Snicker.

I do want to tell them, "Would you just do me a favor and go away? Take your nitpickiness elsewhere, your rebellion, your fake piety, your innate ability to say the wrong thing at the right time. Just go away. Siberia or Guam or Bora Bora would be wonderful choices." Of course I would say this with the utmost Christian luuuv.

I think I'm done now. I'm still a fallible woman trying to make her way and get it right. No, this is a reminder that I don't have it all together.

And guess what? Tomorrow is our monthly women's group meeting. Weeee!

Characters Welcome... Plus, Mount Hermon Part 2

The USA Network's slogan is pretty neat... Characters Welcome. Of course they put emphasis on quirky. In my current book, this is really handy. I've also figured out why reality shows are so successful. We love quirky, real people. Life (virtually) without a script. Edited, of course, but you just never know what stunts people are going to pull. I believe that the characters we create as writers can leap off the page as vividly as the most memorable people we've known...

I think of George Meister, a guy in a nursing home. My family met him when I was about twelve. I remember him as wrinkled, gray, and round with a shelf full of books in his room. He lent me one on the Dead Sea scrolls, not the typical preteen's reading, but then I wasn't the typical pre-teen.

I think of my Great Uncle Enrico, who ran a restaurant for many years in South Hadley, Mass. His wife and three daughters helped him, and he always gave me a candy bar whenever I visited. I called him "The Candy Man" after I'd seen Willy Wonka.

Then there's Jocie, who decided once she retired to go to the Philippines and start an orphanage. Just like that. When I met her while she was on furlough here in the States, I realized that retirement doesn't mean retired, and poor in the world's eyes doesn't mean you can't own beautiful things.

I could go on about the characters who've drifted through and are still in my life (hey, I married a character!), but you get the idea. We see an image of someone without knowing anything about eye color or hair color or height. If you asked me right now what color Andromeda Clark's eyes are, I couldn't tell you. But I know Andi. And it's time I get back to Greenberg, Tennessee and see what trouble she's in right now. After all, there's a murderer at large and she's trying to prove it.

Mount Hermon Update:
I will not apologize if my book seems a bit "fluffy." At Mount Hermon, one speaker held up a copy of USA Today and the New York Times. Which, he said, looks more serious and educated and deep? (NYT, duh.) Which, he said, has won the most awards for its journalism? (USAT--huh?). It may look fluffy with its brightly-colored graphics, but there's substance inside. Sounds good to me!

Night-o!