He's calling...are you listening?

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young is the latest book I've chosen to review from Thomas Nelson Publishing. This is a lovely little encouraging devotional gift book with a short "note" from Jesus for every day of the year. It's beautifully packaged with an attached bookmark, so each day you can page through the thoughts. Worry, surrender, trust are all recurring themes among its pages. Some might call it "fluff." No, this isn't a heavy doctrinal sort of book or in-depth teaching. For that, look elsewhere.

Because there are times in our lives when spiritually we just need the reassurance of God's presence, of His neverending care. And no, this isn't a "substitute" for the Bible or an attempt to "add" words to the thoughts found in the Bible. Rather, from what I read, I see the ideas and thoughts in this book are Scripture based. Each little note also has an accompanying Scripture reference that you can look up for yourself.

I have to admit that in the past when I've heard about books that claim to "speak" words from God, I've been a bit leery because I've seen New-Agey thinking creep into books like that. But from what I read in Jesus Calling, I didn't see any of those lines of thought. God is God, and we're not Him, and we do have His reassuring presence in our lives. We just need to look for it, and according to this book, listen for it.

How in the world did I end up here????!

When was the last time you stayed up late because you couldn’t put down a nonfiction book? That’s right, I can’t think of a time either. I stayed up wayyyy too late, nearly 1 AM, finishing this book. I chose The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley ecause it sounded like something that would benefit not just me, but my family and any friends who’d like to borrow the book.

Whether it’s your health, finances, career, relationships—this book offers strategies to get you on the path you’d like to be on. Most of us have some regrets—how’d this extra 50 pounds get on my body—why do I hate my job?—how did I end up in this relationship?—where did all this debt come from?

This isn’t a self-help book with generic, warm ‘n fluffy, positive self-talk. Yes, you’ll come away encouraged. But this book is also scripture-based, referring to the lives of King David, King Solomon. It provides concrete examples from the Bible about God’s principles and how they affect the paths we take. The solutions aren’t easy. We need to pay attention to what we’re paying attention to. We’re often far better at knowing what to do than actually doing it. We don’t realize the small choices we make are but links in a long chain of events that make us end up…somewhere.

Oh, and there’s a plus, too. When I was reading chapter 3, I remarked to my husband that there ought to be a study guide with this book. A-ha! I paged to the end, and sure enough, a study guide.

This book is not a complicated read—it reads very fast for nonfiction—but the concepts will make you pause and think. And probably stay up too late reading it. At least I did.

The Word Of Promise: The Gift of Psalms

As a reviewer/blogger for Thomas Nelson Publishing, I have the opportunity to read and "try" different products. I'm a big fan of the Psalms, which is why I chose The Word of Promise: The Gift of Psalms. A variety of actors read 50 psalms, and while part of me enjoyed hearing the Words, I wasn't a big fan of the dramatic reading. Sometimes, no, most of the time, I think it's best to read the Words and not put so much emphasis on trying to make them sound dramatic. Like I tell my daughter, sometimes less is more. But that's just my opinion. All that said, the whole package is beautifully put together with the CDs and devotional book, in which each devotion corresponds to a given Psalm. Our lives are so busy that often we can't read as much as we'd like. This set would be ideal to pop into your car's CD player and listen to in traffic. Nothing soothes like the Psalms!

Makeup Mirrors and Graveyards

"Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends."
-- Henry Brooks Adams

I have no idea who Henry Brooks Adams is, but the guy made a great point.

When I was in college, I had a lighted makeup mirror. . It had a border of bright lights and the mirror could be switched to a magnifier. All I can say now is "UGH" about the thought of magnification. Every little line, pore, and blemish--I can't hide from what I see. My husband loves my eyes, but somehow blemishes and lines stand out more to me when I look in a magnifying mirror.

The same is true with friendship. The more time we spend with someone, I can say with 100% certainty that we'll see flaws and faults we didn't notice at first. Just like looking in the mirror, we can't miss those imperfections. They're magnified, unfortunately. We can't escape the reflection of truth. And sooner or later, lest we get smug and congratulate ourselves at what a wonderful friend we are, we end up showing own faults for our friends to see.

So shouldn't surprise us when our friends show us their faults, and we need to head out to the cemetery that Mr. Adams speaks of. We must shoulder our shovel, drag our friend's offending fault behind us, and start shoveling.

As we dig, we must say, "I know this is my friend's fault/flaw. Because they are my friend and I love them, I will bury this fault and won't keep it with me. I choose not to hold this against them." We are all works in progress, and our friends remind us of this without saying a word.

Sometimes small offenses can pile up over time, and before we know it, we're lugging a wheelbarrow full of them with us. One friend or another has misspoken or treated us carelessly, and we never make that trip to bury their fault. This can damage friendships over time, even small things. Recently I have learned just that. Someone had offended me, not in a large way, and I lugged the incident around for far, far longer than I should have.

On the other hand, I also recently have been reminded that my own faults can irritate, or worse, injure my friends. But this is what friends are for--not to be injured, but to remind us of where we fall short. Friends are the ones who will not hold our faults against us. Instead, our friends will simply hug us, pick up their shovel, and head for the graveyard of forgiveness where our faults are buried.

We should ask ourselves:

Am I carrying reminders of my friend's faults?
Do I need to forgive my friend's offenses or bury those irritations against me?
Do I need to think more before I speak and/or act?
Am I thinking of what I want, more than what is important to my friend?
Do I need to ask forgiveness from my friend?

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. " Colossians 3:12-14

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." Proverbs 27:6

Miss any previous posts? Check out Friendship Series, and read from the bottom up.

So Long, Farewell...

Sometimes the best thing we can do for a friendship and the well-being of our hearts is just to let the friendship go. Change is part of life, and relationships change as well.

I don't know if you've ever had this happen to you, but it's hard when someone who was more than a fringe type of friend (see my post, Love That Fringe, below) cuts you out, without explanation or a clear reason in your mind. The book of Proverbs says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." I always understood this to mean that the closer we are to someone, the more they can hurt us, but if we are close to them, the hurt can be overcome by the love we have for our friend.

But what do you do when you realize a good friend has shifted to the fringe of your life, and you don't know what happened to cause the change?

I live in a military area. It's pretty safe to say that my entire circle of friends is made up of people with military ties, either currently or formerly. Dear friends who became like family often move, and that always hurts. They leave behind a hole that must be filled, where once there were smiles, laughter, good times, and even some hard times. I suppose I should be used to it by now after seventeen years.

With the advancement of the on-line world, keeping in touch has been much easier with Facebook and e-mail. I have literally dozens of friends all over the world now and every time I hear from them, I smile and I'm glad we still have that connection. In fact, my husband and I had a great time on Saturday night with one couple (Love ya, Nick & Kineta, if you guys are reading this!).

There does come a time, though, when we need to release friendships and allow them to fade into memories. This has happened to me not so long ago with two particular friendships. I can't deny it's painful, but I've seen that there are people in my life right now in front of me who have become the ones I can laugh with, cry with, and pray with.

My words are simple: don't belabor a lost friendship. I spent time and tears trying to figure out "what went wrong," and no answers came. I sent an e-mail or two, a card, left a message or two, sent a small birthday gift in one instance, and nothing. Lest I sound like a stalker--LOL!--all of this happened over the course of months, to years, in the case of one friendship. I realized I had to let them go, and stop trying.

While love never fails or gives up, in this case, I had to let my feelings go and relinquish any claim to a true friendship. Should I hear from them again--and I have in the case of one person--I've simply smiled and nodded, acknowledging what once was. And expected nothing more.

Sometimes we need to ask ourselves a few questions:
Am I hanging onto a friendship that has changed?
Am I trying too hard to keep a friend who's clearly moved on (literally or figuratively)?
Have I been blind to the idea that this particular friendship may have been just for a season in my life?
Have I not seen the new possibilities for friendships right in front of me, because I've invested so much time in a lost cause?
Have I been clinging to a friendship for my own self-worth?

I'm sure we can all think of a friendship that's changed, and we need to accept that change. And I'm sure we can all open our eyes, and see the possibility of new friends immediately surrounding us. We all want to belong. We all want to be loved.

So long, farewell...to the ones I've had to let go. And if you're reading this post and know me, you're probably NOT one of them.

Love that Fringe! I think?

"What is acquaintance? What a funny, hard word." ~ Aunt Beast, A Wrinkle In Time


I just love the character of Aunt Beast from that wonderful Madeleine L'Engle book. She's right about the sound of the word acquaintance, though. It sounds proper, stiff. But many of us have a ton of acquaintances. I looked the word up in the dictionary.


Acquaintance: "a person whom one knows but who is not a particularly close friend."


Think of standing around the water cooler, or hanging out at the kid's soccer game, or. . .any informal situation where we encounter others on a regular basis. We get to know the generic stuff. Family, interests, likes, dislikes, the boring activities of everyday life, and maybe an occasional quirk thrown in to make it interesting.


Many of us are really good at having acquaintances. It's sort of like owning a jacket with lots of fringe on the arms. Fringe adds a little something to the look, but it's not like a sleeve or insulation against the elements or buttons. Fringe is just...fringe. According to the dictionary, fringe is "a marginal, peripheral, or secondary part."


I suppose you could also call acquaintances casual friends. We know them by name, we know things about them, but it's mostly surface information. That's where most friendships start, as we discover the common ground we all share. Acquaintances aren't people we usually call in a jam. We might not wonder much if we haven't heard from them in a week or two.

When does an acquaintance become a true friend, when they are more than just on the fringe of our lives? Maybe it's when one person shares more than everyday life, and shares a bit of their heart. And the other responds in kind. I think it's important to tread cautiously when we do this, or we could end up having a one-sided friendship.

Speaking of friendships, here's a thought-provoking blog post from 97 Seconds With God on how we choose our true friends.

Sponges and Granite

Some friends are like sponges, some like granite.

A sponge can be a very good thing to have when you're trying to wash a car. You have a constant supply of soapy water. Some friends are like sponges. They pour into your lives and the time you spend together leaves you refreshed. At least that's how it should be.

But some friends, insecure or needy ones, can be like dry sponges. They always draw from you and after very many encounters, or very few, you're the one feeling drained and exhausted.

I must admit I've been both kinds of a spongy friend. I love giving to my friends, and I like to think that they enjoy spending time with me, whether it's something as simple as shoe shopping, or an IM chat, or laughter around the dinner table. But during my own dry times is when I need the refreshment of a friend. And sadly, people don't enjoy friends who are always "draining" them.

We get out of balance when we rely solely on our friends to refresh our souls. I believe that God uses people as tangible reminders of His presence and His love. But there's no substitute for spending time with our Heavenly Father.

Other friends are like granite. I would venture to say that these people are mostly granite on the outside. Life has taught them to be tough. Receiving from those friends made of granite is difficult at best. After all, they're not sponges. Those whose hearts and souls are granite through and through probably do not have many friends at all. Granite is tough and cold. It can't hold anything or give anything. It merely exists and must be chiseled and chopped away. Granite is tough and probably lasts forever.

Granite is also pretty clueless. Stone can't refresh you, although it's good for paving and building, so it does have its uses. Friends made of granite need softening, if that's possible. But I know Someone Who specializes in impossibilities. If you have a clueless friend of granite, be patient with them and pray for that softening to happen.

Things to ask ourselves:

Am I a dry sponge of a friend?
Am I always trying to soak from others?
How much time do I spend pouring into my friends?
Do I exhaust one friendship and drain it dry, then move on to someone else?
Am I spending time being refreshed by Living Water?

Am I granite?
Am I clueless, unable to receive from anyone?
Have I allowed life to harden me to the point where I've not allowed myself to receive from anyone?
Do I need softening so I can learn to be a better friend?

Next time..."Acquaintances" and playing it safe